mum's the word ... sorta
4 days til christmas, just in case you needed any more reminders.
i ran across this story yesterday, and though it's not exactly my situation -- i feel her pain. lemme essplain......
i started blogging six months ago. after reading blogs for a few months, i thought this would be a great way to keep in touch with friends who were far away (and even make new ones!) and also a wonderful outlet for me to write about things i couldn't exactly talk about. i have kept in touch with friends, made several new ones, and have been able to share a few things that i wouldn't normally share with people. HOWEVER, now i'm struggling with a situation and i want to share it with you but i can't. why? because the person it involes reads this blog. (hi!) because you probably know of this person. because it brings it to a personal level that i'm not comfortable with. i could blog about former loves -- because they don't read. because i could blog about my feelings and struggles and no one had any connection to them. no taking sides, etc.
but you know, this is one of the reasons i started blogging in the first place... so screw it. i'll just leave names out. wanna hear the story? i'll keep it short and sweet -- here it goes:
met boy through blogging
we talk everyday for months via IM
we exchange numbers
we text message and/or call daily
we find out more about each other than couples do in a lifetime
we decide to meet
we freak out a little bit about meeting
we are anxious
we meet
he stays 4 days
we have a great time
4 days is a lot of someone when you're used to being alone, but 4 days is not enough time to decide if he is my lobster
red is a bit overwhelmed with it all
red finds out she's a lot more guarded than she thinks she is
boy says he's an all or nothing guy
given the miles between us, among other things - red can't give ALL
red doesn't want to give nothing.
boy doesn't want to ride things out and see what time brings
red is confused and feeling pressured
red really has no idea how to deal with the situation
she wants to visit a few more times, and have more than 4 days of face time
boy suggests they slow things down, or stop completely until red feels she is able to give 100%
red has no idea how she'll be ready to give 100% if it's not a progressive relationship
and that's the short edited version. i am confused and have no idea what's best. i think any relationship needs time, and even if you think you know you want to spend time with a person - time is the only true test in my eyes. we've all been with people and felt completely different about them after investing some time into the relationship. i do not want to say, "yes, i want to be with you" and risk having to take those words back later.... yet, i don't want him to go away. i realize that this is all a bit dramatic, and believe me --- i am not a drama queen. i hate this, and wish it were easier. but you know -- this sort of thing is a bit different than dating someone who lives down the street. there are A LOT of miles that seperate us, therefore -- our decisions come sooner and are a bit more imperative than a "normal" dating relationship.
anyway, there you have it. i feel better. whew.
happy tuesday
i ran across this story yesterday, and though it's not exactly my situation -- i feel her pain. lemme essplain......
i started blogging six months ago. after reading blogs for a few months, i thought this would be a great way to keep in touch with friends who were far away (and even make new ones!) and also a wonderful outlet for me to write about things i couldn't exactly talk about. i have kept in touch with friends, made several new ones, and have been able to share a few things that i wouldn't normally share with people. HOWEVER, now i'm struggling with a situation and i want to share it with you but i can't. why? because the person it involes reads this blog. (hi!) because you probably know of this person. because it brings it to a personal level that i'm not comfortable with. i could blog about former loves -- because they don't read. because i could blog about my feelings and struggles and no one had any connection to them. no taking sides, etc.
but you know, this is one of the reasons i started blogging in the first place... so screw it. i'll just leave names out. wanna hear the story? i'll keep it short and sweet -- here it goes:
met boy through blogging
we talk everyday for months via IM
we exchange numbers
we text message and/or call daily
we find out more about each other than couples do in a lifetime
we decide to meet
we freak out a little bit about meeting
we are anxious
we meet
he stays 4 days
we have a great time
4 days is a lot of someone when you're used to being alone, but 4 days is not enough time to decide if he is my lobster
red is a bit overwhelmed with it all
red finds out she's a lot more guarded than she thinks she is
boy says he's an all or nothing guy
given the miles between us, among other things - red can't give ALL
red doesn't want to give nothing.
boy doesn't want to ride things out and see what time brings
red is confused and feeling pressured
red really has no idea how to deal with the situation
she wants to visit a few more times, and have more than 4 days of face time
boy suggests they slow things down, or stop completely until red feels she is able to give 100%
red has no idea how she'll be ready to give 100% if it's not a progressive relationship
and that's the short edited version. i am confused and have no idea what's best. i think any relationship needs time, and even if you think you know you want to spend time with a person - time is the only true test in my eyes. we've all been with people and felt completely different about them after investing some time into the relationship. i do not want to say, "yes, i want to be with you" and risk having to take those words back later.... yet, i don't want him to go away. i realize that this is all a bit dramatic, and believe me --- i am not a drama queen. i hate this, and wish it were easier. but you know -- this sort of thing is a bit different than dating someone who lives down the street. there are A LOT of miles that seperate us, therefore -- our decisions come sooner and are a bit more imperative than a "normal" dating relationship.
anyway, there you have it. i feel better. whew.
happy tuesday
posted by red at
6:14 AM
