scattered

i will start by apologizing for this post. i'm farily positive it will be all over the place, because that's how i feel today --- scattered. i hate my hair. straight, it looks fabulous. curly, it shrinks up to a length that screams soccer mom. ugh. no offense to you soccer moms out there - but i am 26 and single.... not really a desired look for me. so, most likely for the next few weeks my hair will end up being pulled back into a ponytail or thrown on top of my head. argh. i have not been sleeping at night very well. this is new for me, as i have never had trouble sleeping. there is just so much on my mind. i.e. -- i'm crazy busy at work, and therefore, i have not been able to communicate with friends as much as i'd like. i have hurt someone very dear to me unintentionally. and there's nothing i can do to make it better. i am stressed about money. i am swimming in decisons regarding my future. BIG decisions about my future. i'm afraid i'll choose the wrong place to relocate. i'm starting to realize just how picky i am when regarding the opposite sex. will i ever find someone whose idiosyncracies i can live with? (yes, i know i will... i'm just whining right now.) my headaches are coming back accompanied my really sharp pains on one side of my head, and that makes me nervous. i need to lose 10 lbs before summer but don't have a lot of time to work out. 5 of my friends are getting married next year and most of them are having destination weddings. i can't really afford to go to any of them, but i have to find a way to attend at least one - because i'm IN it. did i mention i hurt someone's feelings? someone who is very dear to me? and i can't make it better? yeah, it sucks. i feel very unsettled right now in my life and i hate that and those are just a few things i lie awake at night and think about. it's madness, i tell ya. i realize that there are people out there who have to worry about things that are much more serious in nature. but these things relate to directly me -- so, they're serious to me. ugh. i want so badly to have a peek into my future to see what my tomorrows hold. the good thing is, (God forbid anything tragic happen today) there WILL BE a tomorrow. and someday, i'll look back at this time in my life and realize that it was just a step to getting to a higher place. tonight, i will rest in knowing that.