over the hill....

although i feel like i've been doing this for a while, today marks only my 51st post. i might have to throw a party of sorts when i hit 100. :-)

i got real brave yesterday, and told a friend of mine about my blog page. not that i'm trying to hide anything, but i just share more with you guys than i do the average person. it's not to everyone that i walk around and say hey - this is what i did last night, and this is how i feel about this, and whatever. it's a safe outlet to express my thoughts... although this page is accesible to the entire internet.... whateva. ANYway, hello to MFM. this is what we will call him. i would post a picture of him, but i'd like to keep him anonymous in case one of these days decide to post about how stupid he is for marrying this girl he married and how now she's pregnant because she refused to take birth control because it would make her fat and and he's completely trapped and miserable and i'd like to say "I TOLD YOU SO!"

whew!

i guess i just did. LOL. welcome to the blog, MFM.

there's been another addition to the redhead's reader family... and this one i did not hesitate about telling. he is one of the best men i've ever met, and has been of a different calibur since the moment i met him. Hello, L!! we met at a bar, and he really had me at hello. this was pretty much in the prime of my party girl days, and we had some good times. he moved from oklahoma to phoenix, and i flew out to visit. i wish i had pictures to post - there is one of me standing by a cactus that is HILARIOUS. it's all out doorsy and nature-ish... and here i am with a full face of make-up, hair perfectly done, cute as pie outfit, and a big ol' purse to match. even better is there's one of us hiking (yes, i went hiking in that outfit -- Hag, you'd be laughing your arse off) and you see L with his water bottle/back pack thing, good hiking shoes, and what-not. then there's me... miss princess just hoping i look pretty while climbing that big ol moutain thing. LOL.

um, yeah. that was during a time when i thought i could never go out in public without make-up, and i always had to look my best. my, how things have changed. we also went to a counting crows concert - they just happened to be in town, and just happen to be my favorite band in the whole world.

anyway, L is in India right now. he's been there for 6 months, and is ready to come home. any of you who work for/with or know entreprenuer type people -- let me know. L is incredibly smart with computer stuff and helps people build businesses from the ground up. please email me if you have any leads on anything remotely close to that type of thing! thanks.

now, after all that -- i was originally going to post about drinkin, and women, and everything else boys want to talk about .... but my thoughts are on than the fact that i'm going to the tulsa state fair tonight with my sister. w00t! i can almost taste the incredibly-bad-for-you-food..... drinkin, women, and everything else boy will have to wait until tomorrow.

unless of course you start talking about it via comments and make us girls sit through the horror that was yesterday's topic -- MAKE UP..... eeeek! lol

happy thursday!

fun with photoshop!

so, i did this mainly for bunny. she is a sephora whore, while i choose to spend my make-up money on MAC. this is my new, fabulous lipstick called "O." top it with some LipGlass, and VOILA! when i took the picture, it came out a little blurry, so i was messing with the brightness/contrast levels. i ended up with this. it looks vaguely familiar to and 80's poster you'd find in an asian nail shop. LOL. good times. this is the prettiest fall picture i've seen thus far. i got it from here. this is a fabulous site you should frequent often... he has some GREAT pictures. speaking of fall.... here is an excerpt of an email i wrote on 9-11 of last year: the morning here in tulsa started out with an eary shade of pink in the sky, it illuminated the whole atmosphere as if it was a prelude of what might occur in the awakening of the day. lo and behold the skies blackened - like new thick tar on a blacktop. a weighted sky - as if it had a burden to relieve itself from and move on to the next town. it seemed like a never ending dark abyss, yet in the horizon -- a thin trace of light extending to the furthest line of sight one can see, reassuring us that the world isn't coming to a complete end. this haunting day is receiving a thorough cleansing. funny how last night the moon was out in all it's glory, white as fresh clean sheets just bleached and hanging out to dry. and today -- the sky weeps for all who were impacted this day 2 years ago. i stood outside for a while last night. the air smelled like fall -- musty wet leaves, but summers remnence was still very there. the temperature, humidity, and the BUGS are still very much characteristic of an "oklahoma summer." however, the summer breeze can almost whisper to you -- assuring you that the time of hot, muggy nights will soon be over and cooler temperatures will follow in the days to come. so, in this time of transition -- take the time to enjoy the nights that are still lit til 7, and ride with your windows rolled down! let us all be thankful for the life around us!! have a great day!

NEW DOMAIN

ok, i bought a domain yesterday, but i'm still editing. www.redhappens.com is the new site. right now, i just have it re-directed to the FOP address, so you really shouldn't have to change anything on your links as of yet. you should, though, if you get some time as i will be making a lot of changes within the next few days. if you have any issues, let me know and i'll try to fix them ASAP. well, i'll tell TIMMY! and he will fix them. hehehe.

ya hUrd me?

let me preface this post clearly stating that i am not prejudice, so don't take it that way.


so, i'm walking down a hallway at work yesterday, and i catch the last part of a conversation my co-worker is having. ordinarily, this man is well-spoken and highly respected among his co-workers. a real class act. well, i must've caught him talking to one of his "homies" because there was straight ghetto talk coming out of this man's mouth. "yeah, you know what i'm sayin" "yeah, dawg - for real" "he was STRAIGHT trippin" "yeah, ya hURD me?!" you get the idea. i have no idea why i was surprised by this, because i've known it to happen with every single one of my black friends. i dated a guy a few years ago who was 1/2 black. the first time i witnessed this transformation, i was like "who IS this guy?" what is it with the black race? why must they change their speech, their body language, their language when they get around each other. i know people who are part Indian (teepee, not dot), and they don't was around saying "HOW." to each other. i know people who are part Mexican, and they don't start speaking with a Spanish accent when they're around other Mexicans. Heck, I'm 1/2 Irish, and I don't start talking with an Irish accent when in the company of other Irishmen. i just don't get it. i really don't. it's not like this is something i spend a lot of time thinking about, but since i just witnessed the transformation, i thought i'd post about it. i'm sure you all know this to be true, too. it's just so weird.

ya HURD me?

buenos dias!

hola, mi amigos. so, i went to this wedding on saturday. the gal is a childhood friend of mine that i only see when one of us gets married, so it is always a fun reunion. the wedding was very simple and just gorgeous. i'm all about simple. it was elegant, but not over-done. anyway, i'm chatting with her at the reception, and she's telling me about this guy and how they met blah blah. this man is wonderful. not only is he good-looking, but he's funny, and very thoughtful, too. she said there is not a day that goes by when she isn't told how beautiful she is. they're both beautiful - see ? you want to know how he proposed to her? sure ya do. he bought a diary book of sorts - one with blank pages - and made a book titled "The ABC's of why I love ___" Then proceeded to list A-Z things that he loves about her, and wrote a bit of a story behing all of them. For example, "H is for your hair. If I could never touch anything else for the rest of my life, it would be okay. I hope you never tire of me running my fingers through it." *sigh* how sweet is that? anyway he went through the alphabet, and got to Z. "Z is for Zales - because a diamond is forever, and so are we..." The next page opened to a cut out of a ring that went through the rest of the book. The real ring was in the cut outs, and VOILA! THEN, he grabs his guitar and sings the song that he had written for her. It's Adam Sandler-ish and through her giggles, of course she said yes. That was in March, and they were married last weekend. They are so in love with each other, and it was so wonderful to see that. here is a picture of my sister from thursday night at the cowboy place. i think she's a beautiful creature. here is the guy she wants me to date, but i say no way. he is nice, but umm... yeah, no. that's all i got for ya this morning. hope you had a great weekend!

doozy

wow - what a morning i've had already. i overslept, and my car wouldn't start. ARGH! my battery is dead, i suppose? i had to take my bro-in-law's truck to work, so i'm feeling a bit KUNtry today. which is okay, since last night i was surrounded by KUNtry people. my sister and i went to a concert at the Cain's - jason bowland and the stragglers. those of you who are familiar know the crowds there. those of you who are not familiar......... this is rock-a-billy music sorta. lyrics include, but are not limited to "i want a rich, young, dumb nymphmaniac" and "cheap burbon whiskey and pearl snap shirts, are two things that remain the same." a lot of renecks, a lot of college kids, a LOT of OSU alumns and students. some of the eye cand there made me wish i was dating an OSU guy again. *shoots finger pistols in the air* GO POKES. i've dated a few OSU alumns -- 2 that were semi-committed relationships -- and they were the best fun i've ever had. music interests-good. conversation - good. looks- good. personality - good. sex - GOOD. i have no idea if going to OSU has anything to do with these things, but my two OSU alumns were not too shabby. again, GO POKES. i was born and raised a Sooner fan - my dad has a room all decked out in OU memorabilia, people - but i don't mind those Cowboys one bit. *wink* save a horse, ride a cowboy! hehehe. have a great weekend!

what's in a name?

thank you, to those of you who offered your place of residence as a vacationing spot for me. i appreciate it greatly, but think i'm gonna have to go with the carribean. heh. i would just like to rant for one teeny weenie paragraph. men, WHY must you "whoop and holler" at women? i realize not all of you actually do, but i'm fairly sure that you at least think about it when you see a woman. i'm not going to lie to you and tell you that i don't like attention, but everything in moderation, people. i park 2 blocks from my work building. i work downtown, and every morning - i have to walk the walk of shame to get into the safety of my cubicle where i'm surrounded only by hacking and chomping noises. this morning, i am walking ... minding my own business... and a truck packed full of messsicans starts yelling at me. in spanish. they're even honking the horn. not only am i annoyed by this, but it's a bit embarassing. the people in the other cars start looking over trying to figure out what all the commotion is all about, and i feel the need to stop and just wave real cute to everyone going by. "Good morning, people! i am just standing here, lookin real cute - hoping to start your morning off with a smile. yep, that's what i live for. so HAPPY THURSDAY! thanks for driving by!!" ugh. now, i realize that in 2 days, i have made references to messsicans doing all the yelling... this is not always the case. men gawk. i don't think they can help it. some are more blatant than others, but.... most all men do it. ladies, i know you feel me, here. i just don't get it. i mean, i get this a lot when i'm walking somewhere.... and those of you who know me personally, know my walk is far from normal. i look a bit like Handi Man. i'm a bit knee knocked, and i could start my own wave pool i wiggle my hips so much. this is not on purpose. this is just how i walk. it's goofy, and i've tried to fix it, but i just can't. at least i don't scoot my feet. (i hate that, but that's a whole other story.) anyway, i don't need an explanation from you... the art of whooping and hollering and gawking and cat calls has been going on for ages, and will continue to way beyond my life span, i know. it's just so funny to me. i mean, you'd never catch me (or most women i know) hanging out the car door to yell at some guy. ..........aaaaaaand, i'm done with that. so, the name thing. what am i going to name my website? i could just go with ramblinredhead.com, but i'd like for it to be more than a blog page eventually. any ideas?

meetings, schmeetings....

so, this morning we have a "town hall" meeting over at our plant location. for those of you who know tulsa, this is located roughly at pine street and harvard. for those who don't know tulsa - this is the ghetto. now, i realize that tulsa is a smaller city, and may not be as scary as say, detroit's inner city, but this redhead doesn't particularly enjoy riding through this part of town. thankfully, it was early this morning, and the 'interesting' people were still sleeping. i did, however, get whooped and hollered at while sitting at a stoplight, and also while crossing the street to the building i needed to be in. sweeeeeeeet. girls just love this sort of thing. oh, you don't speak english? OOOh OOH YELL AT ME!!

pinche' vatos.

anyway, meeting was boring but insightful and now i'm back at my desk. i'm 2 hours behind my normal blog reading schedule. ARGH.

i decided last night, that i'm taking a cruise after the first of the year. it is off-season and they have a TON of deals on everything. merry christmas to me. :)

crazy, beautiful

i had no intentions of fueling the fire we started yesterday via comments.... but alas, i cannot resist the temptation to talk about physical appearance.

most of my friends are attractive. this is my bunko group, for the love of God. granted, not all of us are super models, but there's not really one who's just awful to look at. even in high school, my friends were good-looking. i did not intentionally befriend them because they were easy on the eyes, it just kinda happened that way. (maybe subconsciously that's what i was doing, who knows.) but i surrounded myself with beauty.

these days, i have a much wider range of friends (believe it or not), but like bunny mentioned - the less attractive people are not keen on going out or taking "party pics." this is so sad to me, that society has set such a standard of perfection, that wonderful human beings are not comfortable with themselves because their physical appearance. argh. for some of my favorite people in the whole world are not the prettiest or most handsome people according to society's standards.... but they are, in my opinion, some of the most fabulous human beings ever created.

don't get me wrong.... i am not professing to be "suzy sunshine i love everyone" .... i am just as superficial as the next person... it's human nature. i like to look at attractive people. i date attractive people. i hang out with attratcive people most of the time. but i do try to break out of that mold and love people for who they are and not what they look like.

who set this standard of beauty anyway? ppffccct. there are some people on my list of smokin' hot people, that some might wrinkle their nose at. for example.... steven tyler of aerosmith. i heart him. he's not generally considered a "good looking" person, but oh mah gawd, i love him.

got someone who you think is attractive that everyone might not?

monday monday

hola. hope everyone had a great weekend. friday night, i worked and headed to the new bar they opened up. it's a national chain, so you may have heard of it? the fox and hound pub and grill? hmmm, anyway it was fun. the place is new, and not trashed out by the natives yet and the grill stays open until 1:30. WOOT! my friend maggie decided she needed to play with my camera, so hereis a picture of me. by myself. LOL. i like to take pics like this - makes me look like i have friends. hehe. this was taken saturday night at the comedy club. that is always a good time, and then as tradition - after the comedy club is karaoke time. there is a hole in wall bar right down the street - halo, you know which one i'm talking about. it is SO awful and scummy... but i love it. cheap beer and great entertainment. this is what the karaoke DJ person looked like. YEE HAW! just seeing her was enough entertainment for me. we started doing some shots and ended up looking like this ... thankfully, i was the one taking the pictures so there is no evidence of me. mwuahahahaha! yesterday was spent nursing a pretty wicked hangover. ick. the older i get - the longer they last. last night, i went to dinner with george for his birthday. it was good times, but painfully awful to say good-night not knowing when i will see him again. ain't love grand? :) depending on my work load this week - i'm going to try to get everything set up on my own domain. knats, this is all for you babe. *wink* not really, but that sounded good. i'll keep you posted on any changes. have a great monday!

IT'S FRIDAY! WOOT!

well, this week was a lot better than last week. i'm actually looking forward to my first weekend in a while being a single gal. look out, tulsa. tonight, after work, my girlfriend and i are checking out a new bar they recently opened..... for anyone who's number i have... you just might be getting a call tonight around 2am. ;)

my mom sat me down and had a talk with me last night. seems she is pretty concerned about me because i haven't been talking a whole lot this last week. oh yes, and it seems i look like i've lost weight. WELL, MOM... that's what happens when a relationship goes sour. for me, anyway. my mom is VERRRRRY religious, and is afraid i'm going to melt back into the pit of despair she calls the secular world. good times.

on a positive note, my sister's husband called last night from Iraq. when i really think about it, technology really amazes me. what in the world did people do before we had all these fun gadgets? well, i know what they did... but sheesh! my grandparents met, and then dated long-distance for a year. they're sole communication was letter writing. when they saw each other again -- it was to GET MARRIED. holy crap, can you imagine that? what a romantic love story, but wow....

anyway, back to the technology .... i cannot live without my cell phone. i've had one since i was 16 - it was big and awkward and awful, but i was the only girl i knew that had one, so i didn't care. i seriouslygo into panic attacks if i leave it at home for the day. if i remember soon enough, i will go back home to retreive it - even if it causes me to be late. LOL. i am THAT dependent.

what's the technology you just can't live without?

my lovely trip to Ohio

this is me for those of you who don't know what i look like

this is my favorite of the would-be nieces.

this is she and her older sister.

this is their baby sister. awe.

this is how green the grass is in Ohio.

this is the only proof i have that i went to cedar point.

this was my view while we were in stand-still traffic.

and this was two hours later. ugh.

and THIS made me feel better.

*grins*

the calm after the storm

whew. what a week i've had. not that this is the worst thing anyone has ever gone through, but sheesh.... can a sista get a break?? you all will be glad to know, that i sucked it up like a big girl last night and did the right thing. i talked to george and we decided together that it was best that he concentrated on how to be a father and not on how we can make things work between us. the decision seems pretty obvious when you step outside and stop looking at it with your emotions. we are on good terms, and will talk every now and again... things are going to work out as they should. in the mean time, i will do as i had planned before hurrican george hit -- and take some time for me. my bro-in-law is overseas fighting for our country (SEMPER FI!) and so that leaves me free to hang out with my sister. this will be a really good time for both of us to have each other, and for me to grow a lot. so, yay for me. this week was a bit crazy, but it can only get better from here. i still have some great pictures to post from the trip, i just need to transfer them from my handy dandy new digital camera to the pc. oh, and put a scary face on all of bob's faces. hehe. happy tuesday!

whoah-ohhhh, ohhh ohhh.... i'm still alive

i heart pearl jam. ok, hello my blog friends. thank you for all the kind words of encouragement. oh, and for the suggestion to go on a bender. hehe. i wasn't in mourning, or anything....... it was just a bit of a shock, and i was numb for a few days. now, i'm just pissed. i am not one to speak ill of someone that i have genuinely cared about.... but...... there are exceptions to the rules, right? :) other than the fact that he TOTALLY did me wrong by decieving me for months - telling me that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me and then just up and leaving without a word ....... that sorry sack of sh*t wasn't a decent enough human being to even thank my family for putting a roof over his head, feeding him, and helping him in any way they could. the only thing he told my mom were lies, and on top of THAT he STILL never said thank you. so, good riddance. i'm thinking i should send him an invoice of what he owes me for his nice little "vacation" he had in Oklahoma. pppffccct! i'm almost glad (for him) that we don't know where he is. my daddy would shoot him. literally. dear ol' dad doesn't speak bad of people, but he told me the other day what he really thought about bob and what he did. let's just say it wasn't good. just a few of the adjectives used were: loser, slacker, cowardly, disrespectful, and arrogant bastard. whew. so, after the shock has worn off a bit and i am not blinded by feelings of love, i see things a bit more clearly. i thank God that he showed his true character before we were married and/or had any children. good bye and good riddance. in other news, remember the lunch i had with first love's sister when i found out he was having a baby? yeah, here's some good drama for ya. Ok, long story short --- i called him (we'll dub him george) on friday and left a message on his voicemail. message said basically, "i know about the pregnancy, i'm sorry, i love you, and i'm praying for you." he called back while i was at work that night, and left a message saying that he was glad that i called, sorry that this happened, and if i wanted to know the story behind it to call him. so, of course, i did call. long story short, i went over to his apt that night, and instead of me hearing the story and saying goodbye, we ended up talking ourselves back into thinking we can make it work. now, things are a big freaking mess, and i'm not exactly sure what to do about it. he needs a commitment from me that i'll be there no matter what happens during this time, and i am not sure i can do that. my parents will FREAK out, etc. i mean, there are so many bad things about it, but so many good, too. oh my gosh. Oh, I forgot to tell you this..... She got pregnant on purpose and without letting george know. AAAAAAAND she didn't tell him until she was almost 3 months along, so there was no option to terminate the pregnancy. (not that they would have, but the option was not there.) All of his friends call her "the bear trap." Hehe. i think that's funny. the name - not the situation. i do not understand why girls think it's EVER a good idea to just "get pregnant" without consulting the would-be father of the child. what good can possibly come from it? I don't know if that's enough information for you to give any advice on.... not that i'm asking you to decide what's best for me.... but it would be nice to have some outside opinions. my mind is cloudy and i feel like i'm wound tightly in a blaket of confusion. some important things about george and i to factor in: this has been an on and off thing since 1994. yeah, i know. it's ridiculous. he is the reason i've been the happiest in my life, and also the reason i have been the saddest. we have tried many times to get back together, and whether it's him or me... one of us always screws it up. i love him enough to die for him and vice versa this short list doesn't do the "story of us" justice, but you get the idea. anyway, any thoughts on this crazy situation? SHEESH -- didn't ya miss me?!? :-)~

sad

i might be MIA for a few days. i spent the weekend with bob and his family, thought we had a good time, and now .... he is gone. yes, folks, he has packed his bags and gone who knows where. we had a bit of a conversation last night about how he was miserable, and he couldn't remember what it was like to be happy.. that it had been several years since he was happy, and there was nothing i could do about it. i have no idea where he has gone... whether it's back to OH, or what. i don't know where else he could go? *sigh* anyway, i have been sobbing all morning, and will grieve for a while. then, i'll be back. prayers and good thoughts and some really nice comments are welcomed. :)

baby bye bye bye

bob and i are leaving today after i get off of work - heading to Toledo. so the drive won't be so long, we are leaving tonight, and probably staying in st louis. we should be on the road by 6 or so, and arriving there by 11 if all goes well. i'm looking forward to this weekend so much, but dreading the long hours in a car. eesh. bob is driving, and his car is a 5 speed... so he gets to do ALL of the driving. i am a klutz with a standard, so i get to ride shot gun the whole way. i'm not mad about that. i had a migraine last night, and spent most of the evening asleep. i got nothin' today. i will be back on tuesday unless something comes up... so i'll post then. hope all of you have a great holiday weekend!! those of you going to dragoncon* -- we want to see pictures!!!

happy wednesday

happy wednesday. my superviser is gone for a week, which leaves me in charge. yippee! i wish i had her power to terminate employment. hehe. the latest news here at the office, is we've hired a temp to replace a lady that had gull bladder surgery. the temp will be here for 9-16 weeks, depending on her recovery time. generally, not a big deal. we call the temp service, they send someone. this time... they sent us an interesting person. "her" name is melissa, and no one can figure out if he/she's a cross-dresser or if he/she has had the surgery. still has man hands and man features of course..... a man's voice disguised in falsetto......a BAAAAD wig....... bad clothes... thick make-up that doesn't mask the 5 o'clock shadow.... you get the picture. eesh. you have to realize, i live in tulsa -- we don't see a lot of this. so, a lot of people in the office are having a hard time adjusting. i have several gay friends, some of who dress in drag... (although it's usually just for a show..) but i am a bit more comfortable than most around here. it's funny to see people's reactions. funny to me... probably not funny to melissa. i kinda feel sorry for him/her. it must be very hard to be so confused about yourself. anyway, i will keep you posted on anything exciting that may develop there.

well, the lunch with ex's sister yesterday pretty much rocked my world. she informed me, in the middle of arby's, that he is having a baby. it wasn't planned and no one's happy about it. it is a bad situation and my heart just breaks for him. i cried all afternoon. *sniff sniff* then i got mad and told the emptiness in my car what an idiot he was. argh. i have no idea what to do, if anything. my first instinct was to run to him, hug him, and tell him it was going to be alright. when you are with someone for that long and you're the best of friends... you just want to make it better. but that's not the case anymore. it can't happen like that. i want to call him, or leave a letter... but i think doing that would only add fuel to the fire. *sigh* it's already out of control for him right now. i am sad for him, mad at him, and if i'm honest... it is a bit painful to realize that this chapter in my life is now officially closed. i was talking to the great Kal'el last night, and he brought some good insight as always. when i said that to him, he said "yeah.. but this is a good thing. that door needed to be shut. it will open a new door for you... and sometimes when you open new doors you can't really see what's inside because the light is so bright and your eyes have to get adjusted. when they do, you see you have more than you left behind." awwwwwww. he is the best person for me to talk to when i am upset about something... always always shines his red kryptonite light on things.

speaking of red kryptonite...... bunny posted about HER red kryptonite things.... so, i thought i'd list a few of mine (in no particular order):

• the smell of dryer sheets
• a good cry
• my sister's laugh
• new shoes
• dolce and gabana cologne for men
• hearing my dad's voice
• kal'el
• lotion
• "the best of ______" SNL videos
• the smell after the rain
• laughing
• singing
• babies
• beef jerky from the fair
• when Bob plays the guitar
• roller coasters

ok, i think that's enough for now. :) have a nice day.